Friday, March 20, 2015

Do owls exist?

" Do owls exist?

its been a busy month or so...just catching up now on reading and relaxing.  who are the two men standing below winnie churchill on your blog?

thanks for your indignance.  crazy crazy crazy world, eh? from where does all this fear arise?  i know the answer...but whoah....what a nutty place is this world.

look for true happiness inside;  it cannot be found externally.

peace my friend and freedom fighter.  i suppose that last sentence now has you and me on a list in several english speaking countries and banned from obtaining visas to go to the greatest country on earth.

how is fatherhood and painting? ..."

                                          -Yogiuday

Hello, my friend,

Owls exist, though they are a rare sight, I reckon. I have only glimpsed a few in my life. One that stands out was in December 2006.
I remember the approximate date and could find the precise date if need be, because it was the night all the trees blew down on Prospect Point, in Stanley Park.

The wind was howling like I had never seen it. We were shooting a TV show in a graveyard in Maple Ridge and things were storming pretty good. Like, to the point when you say to yourself, "You should just get the fuck outta here", and then trees start to fall in the graveyard and the 1st AD calls a Force Majure, which is a French film term meaning 'Let's get the fuck outta here, we can't shoot any longer', for whatever reason. There are many French words in film because it started there and purists want to give the craft the proper respect that they think it deserves. Some directors say, "Coupé", instead of "Cut".
Anyways, after one of our big lights had fallen over and broken, and a number of trees had fallen, a large Bard Owl flew gracefully across the graveyard and landed in a tree just 15 meters from where I was standing.
The owl stared me down as it swayed back and forth in the tree in the wind. It was was such a striking and symbolic thing, the way the owl sat there, looking at me, in the graveyard, in the storm. I am not a superstitious man but it felt very much like an omen of sorts.

Busy times are good times, for all Doshas, but especially for Vata because Vata can really piss time away like no other. Believe me. We don't sit around much but time still slips through our fingers...

The two dudes in the pic are Kerouac and Ginsberg. They both had a massive influence on me and the fact that they were pals, is beyond cool.
I read On the Road in 1996 and it was a pivotal book for me. I read it aboard the Reef Raider, a 37 foot steel hulled longliner from Port Hardy, that I worked on as a Deckhand.
We were cod fishing, it was the dead of winter, and we were going North to an island just South of Prince Rupert.
There were icicles on the rigging and the deck of the boat was a solid sheet. It was about -20C with the wind chill. Ice was gathering on the stays and we would periodically go outside and chip away at the ice. The ice had to be removed from the rigging and the wheelhouse because the weight of it could make the boat top heavy and it could eventually flip over.

Kerouac seemed to dance and sing with words and it was a free flowing, prose-like writing that I had never before encountered.
The mystery and the talent and the sheer beauty of the writing have held me captive for years, I eventually read many other books written by him.
Desolation Angels and the Dharma Bums were very influential as well.

And I did a reprise of  America by Ginsberg, for a film school project. I used his words (without his permission, God rest his soul) and filmed an actress having a mental breakdown in front of the TV, while a different girl read the poem. It was shot in black sand white and it turned out pretty well, I think.
The film school was shite and they hated it. They kind of saw themselves as a mini MPAA, censoring what they didn't like. One of the administration members saw that I was editing some riot footage from the WTO protests on the school computer and demanded I remove it immediately. (In retrospect, they'd probably want some of that footage from one of the pivotal moments in late 20th century political events)

We also shot a film about a heroin addict and scored it (again, without permission) with Lou Reed's Heroin, and the school wanted nothing to do with it.
I watched the film a few years ago and it still stood up. Fuck 'em. Bean counters.
Anyways, the line "Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb", 20 seconds into the film didn't make them like it any more, that's for sure. Most people like their art to be a bit more tidy than that.

Yes, this world is crazy. But my life is mostly peaceful and I am thankful for that. I go for walks with Flynn every chance I get and my days are spent in a world of make believe. (I am working on a Disney show about all their characters)
I have found the most immense joy in sunrises and sunsets and the sound of birds chirping and singing early in the morning.


Fatherhood is the most magnificent thing ever. The boy has just walked (almost) into our lives and changed us forever. It is unthinkable, really. To realise you have that kind of pure love in your heart to give. It is the force that drives. It even gives creativity a whole new meaning, when you become a parent. 

The paintings are flowing from me and I indulge my creative side when I can etch out the time. My incredulousness for the way things are is my muse. 

Peace and Love
Tony.

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