Friday, June 25, 2010

dear mr. durke, 

with regard to your letter recently posted to us at imperial parking, i would like to take this opportunity spend more of your time replying to you in a cordial but absolutely useless manner that will ensure we still get our money.

while we appreciate that you chose to use our service, it is beyond our comprehension why all those people without mobile telephones don't spend more time in the mall shopping for these most important devices and anyone without a credit card shouldn't have a car anyway. at least they shouldn't be allowed in the downtown area or anywhere near vancouver for that matter, except maybe surrey.  so you see we have thoroughly thought out all possible scenarios and feel that our vast array of customer oriented services suits most of our clientele.  we are sorry if your grandmother experienced any difficulties.  we usually find it best to leave our grandmother in the home so these problems do not arise.

while it is, of course, up to you, if you wish to fight the ticket, you may as well save yourself the time and hassle as the courts are in our pockets, as is the vancouver sun and most of the tourist organisations in this great city and the best place on earth. ultimately, we will win, because we are bigger than you, and we will take away your money.  any larger protests on your part will most regrettably result in the royal corrupt mounted police at your door at 2am with sound cannons and tasers.

we hope you will enjoy using imperial parking again.  and we thank you for your custom.
please feel free to write to the undersigned again if you have any further questions.

mr. f. yu.
imperial parking - our service, your joy 

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